Are You Tired of Your Stories? Part II
As we function daily in our story or how life occurs to us, we move into action and produce results. Many times those results are not what we actually want. We tend to blame our circumstances, the people involved, or things that are out of our control rather than considering that the way things are occurring to us is the production center of our current reality or undesirable results.
The things we believe to be true produce our thoughts, which yield our feelings, which create our actions.
Beliefs = thoughts = feelings = actions/behaviors
Transformation occurs when we investigate our thoughts and align our beliefs with truth. Although we usually think our beliefs are true, we do not see that they are a small amount of truth that has been wrapped in pain from our past and is now a skewed version of the truth which limits or blocks what is possible. We wind up feeling stuck or hopeless in our circumstances.
When our belief is transformed, we think differently, we feel different, and we act in different ways. Many times, behaviors we have unsuccessfully attempted to change for years magically change without us even trying, simply as a result of our belief coming into truth.
I spent most of my life working to change the way I felt or behaved with little to no success creating lasting change. However, once I started investigating my thoughts and exposing the beliefs that were under them, transformation began to occur. I started producing different results in my relationships, my work, and my adventure. Life became fun, adventurous, and hopeful.
Investigating our thoughts happens with three simple words that can change our perspective or how life occurs to us, which can ultimately change everything! Are you ready for them?
They are, “Is that true?”
Whenever I find myself stuck or frustrated with the way something is, I begin the investigation process into what is occurring for me. For example, I have been feeling stuck in the area of my physical health. I need to drink more water, eat more vegetables, and get more exercise. Up until now, I tried one behavior modification after another which produced results for awhile but, in time, I wound up right back where I started, if not worse off than I was before.
All of these unsuccessful attempts brought me to long for something that would create lasting change. A friend and client is starting a new business that helps busy people have healthy lives. Her approach is to introduce one new, healthy habit each week over seven weeks. I got excited about the opportunity and thought it would be a great option for me to build a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. However, once I got into it, I found myself resisting the resource. All I needed to do was print out some paperwork and be ready to start a new habit each Monday. However, as I entered the third week, I was only applying the first week's habit, and I still had not chosen to print the paperwork.
As the guilt and shame began piling up, I realized my story or limiting beliefs were keeping me from the results I wanted. It was time to start doing some investigation, so I got curious about what I was telling myself in those moments when I felt guilt and shame. My story was filled with things like:
- “I am too busy.”
- “This isn’t going to work for me.”
- “I need faster results.”
- “I just need to go back to what worked before.”
Each thought brought me to feel discouraged, which produced my behavior of wanting to give up. However, once I started investigating these thoughts by taking each one and asking myself, “Is that true,” things began shifting. The conversation went something like this:
- “This isn’t going to work for me.”
“Is that true?”
- “Well, I have tried a lot of things, and they haven’t seemed to work.”
“But, is it true that this isn’t going to work?”
- “No, I haven’t tried it yet.”
“What else could be true, if not truer than, 'this isn’t going to work for me?'”
- “Maybe this is going to work.”
- “I can get used to one new thing at a time.”
- “The steps are simple, and I like simple.”
With this simple investigation, my resistance turned to excitement, and I “found the time” to print out the resource pages. I began putting the steps on my calendar so that I could begin mentally preparing for each week's new action step. By interrupting my beliefs, I started thinking differently. I felt hopeful and began taking actions toward producing the results I want. This opportunity is exposing many limiting beliefs that I did not realize I had.
While the narrative I have shared with you is a very simple concept in regards to my health, the process of investigation can be just as powerful when you apply it to any area of your life! It can open up new possibilities, turn conflict into triumph, create resources where there were none, and make friends out of enemies.
Where do you currently feel stuck? Is your story getting in the way of what you desire in your relationships, your work, or your adventure? What are you telling yourself is true? Have you investigated it? What results would be possible if you were not living out of your story?