Curiosity Can Unlock Your Deepest Desires

What is it that you long for?  What is it that calls to you from the depths of your soul?

  • An intimate relationship that allows you to know and be known?
  • A home that is filled with love and laughter?
  • Children that live in their unique purpose and calling?
  • A career that impacts lives and makes a difference in the world?

The desire to know and be known is at the root of each of our deepest longings.

Experiencing that type of intimacy in a relationship requires us to live in vulnerability, honesty, and commitment.   That is easier said than done because our fears, insecurities, and ego encourage us to self-protect against the very things we deeply long for.

What if what you long for is right in front of you with your current spouse, your children at the age they currently are, your current friends, and the job that you are currently challenged by?

When dissatisfaction arises our natural response is to believe that something is wrong with us, with them, or with "it," and we can’t imagine it will change so we give up on our desires.

I know for me, I loved my husband, yet my heart longed for so much more in our relationship:

  • I wanted to continually become new together with each passing year.
  • I longed to live in curiosity with each other and learn new things about the other person every day.
  • I desired to grow in intimacy as we stood strong through the uncomfortableness of tough conversations and life’s challenges.

Sadly, it was easier to believe things like:

  • Those things aren’t possible with my husband.
  • I should have gotten clear about what I wanted before I chose to marry him, and now it's too late.
  • Those desires are crazy, and I need to stop wishing for them.

As long as I held on to those beliefs, they became true for me, but once I began living in a clear vision of what I longed for and chose curiosity around what I was contributing to my current reality, the scales began falling from my eyes.

I got the opportunity to see my self-protection at work and chose something new that would take me towards my vision. For example:

  • I saw my judgments and I got to interrupt them.
  • I got to focus on our future rather than our past.
  • As I took ownership rather than blaming, I got to show up differently.

I am blown away by the results.  What I longed for continues to become more and more my reality and we are experiencing a love that goes far beyond our wildest imagination.

I give you the example of my marriage as my deepest desires, but what are yours?  As you ponder what you are longing for in your life, I encourage you to see that anything is possible if you will take these steps:

  1. Create a clear vision
  2. Define commitments that will take you towards that vision
  3. Choose honesty and transparency about how you are getting in your way
  4. Own it and choose something new that will take you towards your vision


I would love to hear what you are longing for.

Please share it in the comments below.