How Absorbent is Your Receiving Sponge?
As humans, we long for love - a sense of belonging and knowing that we matter.
For many years of my life, I believed there wasn't enough love for me. It seemed that whether with friends or family, I felt responsible for acting in a way that would allow them to offer me, love. In essence, I had to earn it.
Time and time again, I would observe people's reaction to me and judge myself as not having offered enough, and therefore, love was being taken away from me. I lived in a scarcity mindset, in regards to love.
What I couldn't see was that in my choice to believe there wasn't enough for me I was living in self-prophecy. I was right because that was what I expected, and, unknowingly, invited people to prove it to me.
Since I began and now continue to choose transformation, this has been one of the largest areas of change in my life. I now experience love to be in abundance in my life. The supply of it is new and overflowing every day.
So what changed? I began to love myself.
When I saw love from a place of scarcity, it wasn't because there wasn't enough, but because I felt I didn't deserve it. If I didn't deserve it then there was no way there could be enough for me. I would notice people that seemed to have an abundance of love in their life, and I assumed it was because they were more loveable than I was.
In some ways, they were more loveable, not because they were better than I was, but because they were overflowing with love. As they loved themselves, their sponge received more and more love, and it spilled out on those they came in contact with.
The saying goes, "Those that are the hardest to love are the ones that need the most love." That is true, yet, in my experience, people could have poured love on me all day long, but I wouldn't have received it because my sponge was non-absorbent.
Enter a beautiful transformation.
However, as I began to appreciate who I was, respected my own opinion, followed my intuitions, listened to my heart, offered myself grace, loved myself without judgment, made time and space for the adventure I longed for, and spoke kindly to myself, my sponge became more absorbent.
I am so grateful for the abundance of love and knowing there is more than enough for me each day!
Now, on those days I wake up with a case of the grumpies, and start getting down on myself, feeling as though I "don't belong," or that "I don't matter," I notice the temptation to believe there isn't enough for me.
Now I know that doesn't have to be true unless I decide it is true.
What are you choosing today? Are you absorbing? Or are you repelling the very thing your heart longs for?