Dads, You Are More Important Than You Know
Dads, you are the MOST important man in your child’s life!
Whether you are a father or mother, or you want to be a parent, or you’re a child thinking about your father, what comes up for you when you read that? I would encourage you to take a minute and get curious about the thoughts that are going through your mind around that statement. Each of us has a father, many of you are fathers, and others of you function in some form of partnership with the father of your children. Processing that relationship and what we believe to be true about fathers is more important than you know.
Webster’s Dictionary defines a father as a male parent, but it is really hard to glean the significance a father has in his child’s life through that definition! I find much more accuracy in defining a father when I look to other cultures where it is custom for the father to name their child. While this isn’t much of a reality in the Western culture, I do believe it is the overall role a father plays in their child’s life.
I am not simply referring to choosing the name, but actually an admonishing and calling forth of who one is. From the moment a child is born, it is the father’s voice that rings of strength and security in their ears. As the child grows, it is the father who brings new levels of possibilities as they throw their child in the air to new heights. Of a child’s two parents, it is typically the father that speaks fewer words, thus giving them more power in the child’s life. I know in our family, we can be scattered around in a store and yet there is a certain noise my husband makes and we all come to where he is. It is like a beacon or locating device that calls to us. That is what a father does.
In the midst of the uncertainty of life, the growth process each individual goes through as they become themselves, and the large decisions that each person faces, it is the father who offers security and the ability to call forth what many times the child isn’t able to see yet in themselves.
As a father, you are like a beacon designed to call forth the best in your child through each of life’s moments.
Dad's, you get to choose whether you step into that role with intention and draw out the best in your kids, or whether you ignore your role and send messages to your child of their insignificance and lack of value. This is not meant to bring shame in any way, but rather to encourage you, admonish you, and inspire you to be all that you were created to be as a father. Your voice matters in ways you may never know. Whether you are a young father, a father of teenagers, or a grandfather, it is never too late to step into your role with intention.
Use your voice to speak to the depths of your children and grandchildren to awaken who they are.
I know that can be easier said than done. As a wife and mother to our four children, I can own that I haven’t always made it easy for my husband to understand his significance or feel like he had a voice in his children’s lives. Out of my own insecurities and desire to feel significant I have down played his opinions or corrected what he says to our children. But, I am so grateful for the opportunity to go again! As I get curious about my own beliefs about the significance of a father, I recognize that my beliefs were getting in the way of what my kids wanted and needed from their father.
Calling forth your child may seem like the scene in Lion King, where you need to have a ceremony, hold your child in the air, and sing a song. However, it is much easier than that.
Here are a few practical ideas of how you can speak into the heart of your child and call forth their destiny:
- Simply putting your hand on your child’s shoulder speaks volumes of love and respect.
- Let them know their world matters to you by doing something with them like playing their favorite game, going for coffee, going to a game, or skipping rocks.
- If they are struggling with something, speak truth of who they are rather than what they are tempted to believe about themselves.
- Be vulnerable with them about your own insecurities and battles with believing the best about yourself and showing up even when you don’t feel like it.
- Get curious about their dreams for the future and get excited about what is possible.
- Speak words of life, truth, and hope through the big and small opportunities in their life.
I want to wish every father a "Happy Father's Day" and encourage you to choose YOUR voice and do what no one else can for your child the way YOU do!
I would love to hear from you fathers about how you are calling forth your kids. I’d love to hear from you mothers as to what you see your husband doing that you know calls forth your child.
In the heart of Father's Day, would you take a second and share how your father calls you forth?
Please leave your thoughts in the comment section.