Are You Driving Towards Your Vision or Away?
Are you scared to define your vision?
I remember the first time I was asked to declare my vision and get specific about what action steps I was committed to taking that day and that week to move towards my declaration.
My first reaction was, “English please?” I told myself I didn’t understand what it meant or how to do it. I realize now that I didn’t want to because up until that point, I had chosen manipulation and control to create my future.
It allowed me to blame my circumstances and others for the reoccurring pain in my life.
I was blinded to seeing it was self-protection that I was using in hopes that I could avoid the pain I had experienced in my past. It was like I was driving a car and looking out the back window while trying to drive forward.
Where I put my focus is what orders my life.
As my attention was set on the pain of my past, it ordered my life. In a sick kind of way, as much as I thought I wanted to avoid the pain, I found comfort in it. It was like an old friend I couldn’t say good-bye to. I kept seeking it out because as it repeated itself in one scenario after another, it confirmed my beliefs and allowed me to be right about what I believed to be true.
It seems crazy to think that I wanted to be right about the negative beliefs I had about my self-value and worth. I had come to believe that I didn’t deserve love. I allowed shame to tell me I was flawed and that as a result, love was something I would need to earn by working hard. It was through this trying to earn love that I manipulated and controlled to get what I wanted. I created a tolerance for overworking. I could push my body and my mind to the point of exhaustion and force myself to keep going. When I noticed that others weren't working as I was, I was hurt. Couldn’t they see that I was loving them? Why had they stopped loving me? I would give mean looks, snide remarks, yell and cry to try and get them to start working again and show me love, as I knew it. However, if I succeeded and they decided to rejoin me in working, the attitude or frustration they were exhibiting as a result of how I had gotten my way caused me to feel even more unloved. As I thought about how I had acted, the shame came again to tell me I was flawed. That then brought that old familiar aching pain that came to once again confirm that “I wasn’t worthy of love.”
I am so grateful for the transformation I have experienced in this area. The lies of being unworthy and flawed are losing their grip. I am experiencing what real love is as I offer it to others expecting nothing in return.
You may be wondering what does declaring a vision have to do with experiencing love? It is a powerful phenomenon that as I shifted and started looking out the front window of the vehicle in the direction I was heading, I began to get clarity on where I wanted to be. I knew I wanted to love and be loved, experience joy and peace and to know and be known by those that I loved the most. By understanding what I wanted to live in at my destination, I was able to start committing to make choices that would take me towards that.
As I declared my vision to love myself and others without judgement and freely offer and receive love,
I committed to following my heart,
own what I wanted and needed,
and request it.
As each moment came, I got an opportunity to choose. When I realized the choice I had made was taking me in a direction other than my vision, I got the opportunity to go again and choose something new. I have been on this journey for four years and am becoming more and more sure of the absolute importance of living with a vision. I get to experience the deepest desires of my heart unfold as I make one choice after another to take me towards my vision.
Are you ready to live with vision of what you want in your future?
I encourage you to take some time today to get curious about your vision. What is calling you from the depths of your heart? What could be possible if you gave it time and space by declaring it and the making commitments that would move you towards it?
Here are four simple action steps if you want to join me in living with vision.
1. get honest about whether you have a vision (if you don’t - your past is dictating your future)
2. Write out the declaration of your vision for the next six weeks - (be very specific so in 6 weeks you can look back and quantify your progress - write as though it has already occurred)
3. What specific action steps are you committed to taking today and this week towards your vision
4. Take a stand by sharing in the comments section that you are ready to vision.