Loving When I Don't Feel Like It by Tori Bradford


I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family on this journey of transformation with me.  I am so excited to introduce to you my sister, Tori.  As I watch her choose transformation, my heart is overjoyed by how she is showing up for herself and her family.  I want to share with you a glimpse of her experience through her writing. 

Loving When I Don't Feel Like It
by: Tori Bradford


Have you ever had those days?  You know the ones I’m talking about...the ones where everything and everyone annoy you?  Or the ones when you feel like your friends, your kids, or your husband, woke up that morning and made it their life’s goal to keep heaping “stuff” on your plate?  I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve had many of those days, in fact, I’m having one today.  These days used to be almost a daily occurrence for me..

How do you love on days like these?

Or what about the days when you don’t love yourself?  The days when you “see” every flaw, every disfunction, every issue that you think is YOU. Maybe you can’t possibly imagine how someone could love you so why even try loving them.

How do you love on days like these?

Or what about the days when you’re hurt?  When someone causes you pain, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and you don’t understand what happened.  The hurt sometimes goes so deep that you can’t imagine loving anyone ever again.

How do you love on days like these?

Friends, for a long time I felt like these days just “happened to me” and I had no control.  I felt like I’d be doing OK and then BAM! I don’t feel like loving the people I say I love most.  Have you ever been there?  Are you there today?

I mentioned earlier that I used to have these days a lot, but the truth is I don’t experience these days nearly as much as I did before.  A beautiful transformation is occurring.  

The first step to transformation for me was recognizing that there was nothing wrong with me for having those days.  I wasn’t broken.  I wasn’t bad.   I was simply giving in to my pain and allowing my days to “happen” to me.  The second step was recognizing I have a choice.  I don’t have to allow those days to happen!  Wow.  Seriously?

Once I embraced those first two steps I learned that love is not what you give when you feel like it.  It’s also not what happens when you are just so happy you can’t explain it.  No, no.  Love is what you have to offer the world when you are not focused on your own needs.  Love is what comes from an outwardly focused heart and mind.  

You see, the days I mentioned before sound pretty selfish when you think about it, don’t they?  The days I spent feeling low, or sorry for myself, or even hating myself are days I spent thinking about one person...myself.  How could I offer something as beautiful as love when I can’t stop thinking about me?  

Sure, there is a lot of frustrating and crazy stuff going on in the world today, but there is also so much beauty to love.  Even at the “lowest” point in my life, I look back now and see there were people around me that I cared about, and that cared about me even though I couldn’t see it at the time, but I do know I don’t want to ever forget about those people again.  I am committed to love in my future.  How about you?  

Thanks for taking a second out of your day to think about love.  It shows just how much you do care even if you might not feel like it :)

Leave a comment below and tell us what you experience when you don’t feel like loving...it’s always easier to face a challenge when you’ve got a team of people walking with you! (even if that challenge is ourselves)





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