Are You Living in the Power of Scarcity or Abundance?
Our beliefs about whether there is enough for us in this life are developed between the ages of conception and two. If the people that are meant to offer us love through affection, nurturing, and taking care of our needs aren’t able to actually meet our needs, we will likely develop an understanding that there is not enough for us in life or, in other words, we are likely to develop a scarcity mindset.
As I asked my mother to recount the experiences of my life between conception and two years of age, she shared the challenges of their lives which brought them to be unavailable to me rather than to focus on my needs. Unknowingly, through that season of there not being enough for me, from a love and nurturing standpoint, I developed a scarcity mindset that I carried into adulthood. I didn’t believe there was enough love, grace, time, money, and so on for me.
In that mindset, I had a pretty consistent high level of anxiety running through my body. In larger areas, I was worried there wouldn't be enough money, I would lose my loved ones, there wouldn't be enough time, or we would lose our home and belongings to a natural disaster. In smaller areas, I was anxious about sharing my belongings with others. I monitored how much food my family ate, the amount they used my lotion or shampoo, and how much of my candy they ate. I was afraid I would run out, and I wouldn’t be able to replace those things.
It isn't easy to own those beliefs now, but, at the time, I thought everyone thought like that. I assumed it was part of who we are as humans.
Through transformational coaching, I was encouraged to consider what could be possible in my life if I would choose an abundant mindset rather than one of scarcity.
As I began to live in curiosity, I gained a process of inquiry that would help me shift my thinking.
For example, last week I noticed I was stress-eating due to major anxiety that was running through my body, so I took some time to get curious about what was underneath that emotion. I realized I was feeling a lot of pressure with work. (Currently, I have a lot of responsibilities on my plate, and everything seems to have an immediate deadline.) I slowed down the thoughts that were running through my head and got honest about what they were. I was thinking things like:
- There isn’t enough time to get everything done.
- I won’t reach my deadlines, and people will be upset.
- I feel overwhelmed.
Once I realized those were my thoughts, I continued to dig deeper into inquiry by asking myself about each thought:
- Is that true?
- What else could be true?
Just asking myself those questions began to shift things. I noticed my scarcity mindset, and knew, if I continued to choose it, I would experience the all-too-familiar consequences of health problems, being short-fused with my family, feeling overwhelmed, and wanting to isolate myself. Because I didn’t want any of those results I began to wonder what else could be possible if I shifted my thinking to abundance with statements like:
- There is enough time to get everything done.
- I can reach my deadlines.
- I don’t have to be overwhelmed unless I want to be.
These simple shifts brought a whole new level of possibilities. All of a sudden I started getting creative about what resources were available. I started realizing some of my deadlines were unrealistic and I could either renegotiate or lengthen them. I noticed that I was taking things on myself that I could request help from others. I started reaching out and people were eager to help! The new terms of my deadlines weren’t a problem for anyone and, in most cases, were better for everyone.
As I get to choose between scarcity and abundance, I find the abundance mindset to be so much more fulfilling and life producing. I am learning that life is good and there is enough for me, when I choose to believe there is.
Do you have a scarcity mindset? Do you believe there is enough for you? Where, in your thinking, are you limiting what is possible for you? What is the one area you are committed to choosing an abundant mindset for yourself today (i.e., love, money, time, material items, etc)?