Saying Goodbye

Good-byes...I have always tried to avoid the emotional ones.  They are uncomfortable and painful on a deep inner level.  Yet this month has been full of them.  We have said goodbye to our 20 year business, our family of four kids living under one roof as our oldest daughter got married, our home that we love so much, and most importantly amazing friends and family.  The question why has risen in our hearts and minds over and over as we faced the uncomfortableness and the pain that has comes with each passing goodbye.  As we wrestle, it keeps coming back to a life changing experience that Jeff & I stepped into in January of this year, which was recommended by an incredible group of friends.  Jeff and I individually sat down and let our hearts dream about the possibilities through an exercise called “the dash.” (You are born this year, you die this year, what does the dash look like in between?).  As I took several days to dream, I asked God to show me what He saw when He created me as a wife, a mom, a sibling, a friend, a creative person, and so on.  I experienced so much in those moments, including dreams from my childhood that I had long ago forgotten.  Opportunities for my future became endless. All because I gave my heart permission to speak.  When Jeff and I shared our dashes with each other, we were blown away at how they flowed together.  We realized we had been playing it safe for most of our life and we were ready to step into the possibilities.  We began, taking one small step of faith to follow what we felt God was laying out before us, for our future.  We were shocked at times, as we would take the next small step having a hard time believing that results would come. But they did, over and over and over again until we have arrived to today.  Today’s small step of faith included the kids and I saying goodbye to our home and driving out of Peoria, IL, to begin our 9 day journey (stopping by National Parks and other places we have dreamed of visiting along the way - so excited!) across the country to meet up with Jeff, who moved in April.  He is working with a company called the Grid (a very exciting start up technology company in San Francisco).  We really do not know what the future holds.  All we know is that life is too short to not follow our dreams and while the uncomfortableness and pain of saying good bye has been more intense than we had imagined, we press on towards obeying that still small voice that seems to be asking us to risk bigger.  As we choose to give up a little more control each day, we are experiencing God’s beautiful outcome which is going way beyond our own abilities and wildest imaginations.